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Returning director Marc Webb and his too-many-screenwriters - Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (the hit-and-miss team behind Star Trek Into Darkness and Cowboys & Aliens, among many others), and Jeff Pinkner and James Vanderbilt (who wrote the first film) - clearly would like for this to be taken as serious drama, at least in part, so around the cartoonish action they crammed in some angst for Peter Parker over the mystery of his parents’ fate. As long as they can tolerate the nearly two-and-half-hour runtime, that is.

There’s nothing wrong with a movie that’s only for the little ones, and this one is fine for them. Watch The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Movie Online. Groucho Marx might approve, but who else? (And he barely is the same guy: instead he’s a CGI construct who does not move in realistic ways, even for a mutant, with Garfield’s voice spouting some clownish jests from somewhere in the vicinity.) They’re the kind of cartoon villains who will pause in their evildoing for a warm moment between Spidey and a little kid from the crowd of onlookers… and Spider-Man’s coup de grace after defeating a bad guy will be to pull down the criminal’s trousers to reveal a pair of “funny” boxer shorts. That Peter does not feel like the same one who engages in vaudevillian antics with caricatures of bad guys. What isn’t easy to ignore is how at odds the few dramatic moments are with everything around them: it’s like they’ve been imported from another film. It’s easy enough to pretend that the 30something Garfield isn’t too old to be playing the teenaged Peter, or that that scene, and a few others, don’t demonstrate more emotional maturity than we should expect from a 17-year-old boy. Sorry, Spidey: you’re just not that amazing anymore. This feels like a campy Saturday-morning cartoon left over from the 1970s, and not the smart, relevant science-fiction action drama the genre has matured into on the big screen.

This looks like a throwback to a time when comic book movies were kiddie stuff and nothing else. Except now we’ve had two more years of cogent, witty Avengers flicks, and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 suffers badly by comparison. Two years on from the first pointless reboot of the Spider-Man story - a mere five years after the previous version had wrapped up - the pointless sequel has arrived.

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